Wow, January 2011 I am getting old! I remember a conversation with my Granny before she got sick. Granny was in her 80's but she said that sometimes in her dreams she would hear her Mother's voice and remember running around playing with her sister. When she would wake up it would take a few minutes to remember that she was no longer a child, she was an old woman. She said sometimes she would look in the mirror and wonder who in the world was the old woman looking back at her. This sounded so funny because in my mind Granny was old my whole life. It has always been easier to think of my parents as someones child. I grew up hearing stories that started with "when I was a child..." I knew both of their parents. In my mind I could actually see some of the mischief that my Father got into with his cousins. I grew up with the story of the time my Mom convinced my Aunt Jo to allow her to cut her doll's hair. When my Granny told me about her dreams and shared stories of her childhood with me it was one of those rare moments of insight. This wonderful lady that had been such a part of my life was once a child. She gazed up at the same stars that I did in perhaps the same amazement and wonder that I did (and still do).
She argued with her sister and brothers. She played with toys. She had a Mother and a Father.
Oh we had had conversations about having children in the past few years. By that time Zackery was here and Granny had shared more details about her pregnancies than ever before. My Dad grew up as an only child. However, he had a baby sister, Ruth, that died after 2 days. Granny lost several babies including twins. She was MY Granny so it was easy to see her as a mother, Duh, Daddy called her Mama.
But until this time I had never really thought of her as a child. I wonder what she was like as a child.
Things were much different then. Granny was born in 1919 in Arkansas. She grew up in rural Mississippi where she lived with her 2 spinster aunts so that she could go to school.
During our "snowcation" 2 weeks ago as I watched my children play, I wondered will I have grandchildren one day? Will they understand that I was not always old? (Will I remember that I was not always old?)
I wonder if Jesus grandmother was a part of his life? Did he have an opportunity to learn from his mother's mother?
It is weird for me to think of My Mama as a grandmother. She is still MY Mama. I am her child, but I am also Zackery and Caleb's Mama.
I know that I am blessed to have known my Grandmothers! It takes all of us to keep up with Flora. (Mother's Mom) She is a stabilizing force for all of us. She has been our family anchor for years. There are a few things with my Grandmother that you can count on. #1 Flora loves the Lord, her church and her family. #2 She will be at Patten Seed on Thursday.
I wonder what I will dream when I am 80? Will I dream about playing with Deania? Will I dream about chasing Andrew around the house? Will I dream about rocking with my Mama as she rocked the baby and sang All Night All Day...angels watching over me.
I wonder.........
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